That Thing We Don’t Talk About

Dear Chase,

Now that you’re learning to talk and your vocabulary is expanding by the day, I thought it was a good time to have a little chat about something. We share a lot of our lives with the world and, while that’s really fun, there’s one thing that we should never talk about: the art projects

You know the ones I’m referring to. The projects that mommy spends 15 minutes laying out and carefully selecting the materials for, that you immediately crawl away from in search of an open toilet in which to play. The botched shaving cream sensory activity that you ingested within 2.5 seconds, provoking tears and warranting a mid-day bath. The chalk painting project that ended with you breaking every single piece of sidewalk chalk we own by throwing it to the floor and then ripping the paper in front of you to shreds.

Yeah, we don’t talk about those.

Because mommy has a reputation to uphold. There are only so many filters she can apply to a photo to make it seem like you’re having more fun doing the project than meeting Santa at the mall last Christmas. You’ve gotta work with me a little here, OK buddy? 

santa picture

You might not know this, but mommy spent the better part of your gestation frantically pinning age-appropriate projects that, admittedly, look much better when done with someone else’s kids. Things I thought would keep you happy for HOURS that hold your attention for mere seconds. But all you seem to want to do is chew holes in the toilet paper and try to find the most dangerous cleaning products under the sink. What gives? 

As a blogger, mommy has an important job: to give other moms hope that their children can realistically complete one successful project that requires an attention span of more than 13 seconds. We can’t be dashing their hopes by talking about how you hate 87% of the activities mommy tries to do with you. We’d be letting them down.

easter eggs

So, we have to step up our game a little bit. When I bring out the homemade playdough, try to really squish it between your fingers so mommy can snap a perfect close-up photo. When we blow the bubbles we made with dishsoap and corn syrup, make sure you do that really cute delighted smile so everyone knows that you love the homemade bubbles much more than the store-bought kind. And, whatever you do, make sure you don’t dump the fingerpaint on the floor that mommy just washed two weeks ago.

And remember, this is our little secret, OK? 

All my love,

Mommy
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Melissa Mowry

Melissa Mowry is a stay at home mom to 3 year old Chase and the slightly younger guy, Sam. She is the main voice behind One Mother to Another, which she started in July 2014 as a way to connect with other moms who felt just as lonely as she did some days. She is married to her high school sweetheart, Adam, and they live in their home state of Rhode Island. Melissa's work has been featured on the Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamalode, Coffee + Crumbs and Mamapedia, among others. Her book, One Mother to Another: This Is Just Between Us is for sale on Amazon.
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3 Responses to That Thing We Don’t Talk About

  1. Briton Underwood April 28, 2015 at 3:48 pm #

    Okay, so the ONE time I decided to peruse pinterest for kids crafts was St Patrick’s day. I had green food coloring for my beer (Green beer is a must on that day) and thought, “I bet I could make some finger paint out of this!!!” And I could! And I did, it was something like lotion and corn starch. So I set it up for the kids. They ate it like it was some green delicatessen. And the stuff I put on them as face paint from it stained them a sickly green color for three days.

    Arts and crafts- not for my kids.

    • One Mother to Another April 29, 2015 at 3:23 pm #

      Bahahah! That is priceless. Sounds like the Easter egg coloring debacle from the photo here. Chase absolutely HATED it and cried over his green hands for hours. Good work, mom.

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