The Sometimes Mom

Sometimes I feed my son organic fruit smoothies that I make lovingly in my blender. Sometimes he eats Honey Nut Cheerios covered in artificial flavors that are stuck to my unwashed floor.

Sometimes I wake up before my son, shower and get dressed in something other than sweatpants, looking halfway respectable if I should happen to leave the confines of my house. Sometimes I opt for elastic waist pants, use deodorant in lieu of a shower and cancel any plans that require me to walk past the front porch.

Sometimes I get down on the floor and assemble block towers and read books and sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Sometimes I can’t be bothered because I’m just so bored with entertaining a baby for 10 hours a day.

Sometimes I hustle upstairs and grab my son from his crib the minute I hear him stirring from his nap. Sometimes, I just want three more minutes of peace, so I let him wait it out while I sit at the kitchen table doing absolutely nothing.

Sometimes when my husband comes home after work, the dishwasher and sink are empty, the floor is vacuumed and dinner is being prepped. Sometimes the sink and dishwasher are overflowing to Leaning Tower proportions, the floor is full of crushed up Goldfish and I beg him to please order takeout, despite it not being in the budget, so I don’t have to cook one more damned meal this week.

Sometimes I put my phone away and focus my attention completely on my son. Sometimes I get caught up in reading articles about being a good mom while I ignore my child altogether.

Sometimes I put my son down for a nap and I’m scarily productive: playroom straightened, dishes washed, laundry folded. Sometimes I haul my son into bed with me and we nap for a blissfully unproductive two hours, waking up to a pile of unfinished to-dos.

Sometimes I don’t give a damn what every other mom is doing because I’m confident in my own brand of motherhood. Sometimes I can’t help but compare my thighs to the ones on the skinnier mom in the checkout line or get jealous over the family vacation to Jamaica another mom can afford that we cannot.

Sometimes I feel beyond lucky that I get to stay home with my son everyday. Sometimes I wish someone needed me for anything more pressing than cutting pieces of food into tiny, bite-sized pieces or unearthing a block that’s stuck under the coffee table.

I am a mother of contradictions; at any given moment, I am a different mother to my son than I was just moments before. I am flawed and inconsistent, capable and inept, a million different colors splashed on the same canvas.

But, even in my moments of ineptitude, of laziness, of just plain not-getting-it-right, I am always a good mother. And so are you. Even if your kid eats red dye #7 and you find a Facebook conversation about Ryan Gosling more interesting than your baby and you lose your temper because someone walked in on you in the bathroom for the 10th time today. Even then, you’re still a good mom; you’re just not a perfect one. But everyone gets it perfectly right. Sometimes.

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Melissa Mowry

Melissa Mowry is a stay at home mom to 3 year old Chase and the slightly younger guy, Sam. She is the main voice behind One Mother to Another, which she started in July 2014 as a way to connect with other moms who felt just as lonely as she did some days. She is married to her high school sweetheart, Adam, and they live in their home state of Rhode Island. Melissa's work has been featured on the Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamalode, Coffee + Crumbs and Mamapedia, among others. Her book, One Mother to Another: This Is Just Between Us is for sale on Amazon.
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36 Responses to The Sometimes Mom

  1. Catrina January 26, 2015 at 7:45 pm #

    Thanks for the honesty in your writing Melissa!! As another sometimes mother, it is so refreshing to hear that I am not alone in my daily switches of Mommying my babe!

  2. TimeDancer January 26, 2015 at 9:00 pm #

    This explains my type of mothering perfectly! Every mom has flaws though! We all still love our children, and want and do the best for them! Thank you for another wonderful post. 🙂

  3. Ali A February 3, 2015 at 10:43 am #

    So I’m not a mom, but most of my friends are so I weirdly feel like I can relate. I also REALLY love honest bloggers who tell it like it is and don’t claim to be 100% perfect, 100% of the time. I’m sure other moms would appreciate a post like this… which I’m why I’m going to send it to them 🙂

  4. Mommy Sanest February 3, 2015 at 1:03 pm #

    Great post! For some reason, the expectation for stay-at-home moms is like, to be superwoman at all times. I don’t get that at all. It is to the benefit of all moms to not perpetuate the myth of the pretty Pinterest picture (for moms working in or out of the homes really). Thank you for writing this.

  5. Valerie@Occasionally Crafty February 3, 2015 at 1:47 pm #

    Love this! I am happy to be a sometimes mom- because that means I’m real! Great read!

  6. Kelly February 3, 2015 at 3:04 pm #

    I absolutely love this and I think many of us “sometimes” moms can soo relate! It made me think of my mother-in-law stopping by unannounced with a friend…well…toys, projects and ummm yes prob some laundry waiting to be folded in a pile

  7. Jamie February 3, 2015 at 5:36 pm #

    This was really beautifully written. I have been in almost everyone of those scenarios myself. In fact I was having a little pity party today…when after getting thrown up on for LITERALLY the 20th time in 24 hours….I wished I had been able to go to work today (I work 3 days a week as a school nurse). But a few minutes later when my feverish, sick 2 year old looked up at me with her big brown eyes and told me her tummy hurt…I was so grateful to be the one taking care of her! 🙂

  8. Donna Miglino February 3, 2015 at 10:05 pm #

    This sounds like the perfect balance, to keep everyone happy and healthy, while maintaining some sanity.

  9. lauryn hock February 3, 2015 at 10:32 pm #

    I love how real and raw this post was. Thank you for showing the world that being a good mom means admitting your faults!

  10. Sami Simpson February 3, 2015 at 10:43 pm #

    I am not a mom yet. But I look at my mom and honestly don’t know how moms do it! They still live the same struggles that I do and more, yet they are usually calm and collected. Shout out to moms!! 🙂

  11. Jennifer Corter February 4, 2015 at 8:44 am #

    Wow, I absolutely loved reading this, the heartfelt honesty in this post is incredible. It is so true, we are ALL good moms, we just don’t always get it right, and that’s totally OKAY!

  12. Jessica February 4, 2015 at 10:42 pm #

    You definitely got this post right! I love it! I’m sharing on my Facebook page.

  13. Megan @ C'mon Get Crafty February 5, 2015 at 12:42 pm #

    I absolutely love this, all of it. So accurate it is scary. Sharing this wherever and whenever I can!

  14. Jeff March 14, 2015 at 2:36 pm #

    This is a great post and it’s something I think a lot of moms and dads need to read. It’s one of the hardest jobs anyone could have and it comes with zero training.

  15. Elizabeth P April 11, 2015 at 8:49 pm #

    Thank you for this!

  16. MamaRabia May 1, 2015 at 9:52 pm #

    I love this! So much truth. Sometimes I feel like I’ve almost got it all together. Then I blink and the kids are screaming at each other and I’m ten seconds away from flipping out on someone!

  17. MaryBeth May 6, 2015 at 2:18 pm #

    Thank you for this. One mother to another- I needed this today. Please don’t tell anyone 😉

    MB

    • One Mother to Another May 6, 2015 at 2:41 pm #

      I’m having one of those days too. It’s nice to remember that the days I’m a better mom balance out the ones like this. Hope tomorrow is better for you, mama 🙂

  18. Shana July 2, 2015 at 3:59 pm #

    Wow, that was brave. I struggle to find things to write about because I’m absolutely terrified of being that brave. Your bravery made me feel a lot better as a mom though. Some days, I swear if I have to sing I’m a Little Tea Pot one more time, my head will probably explode. I love seeing Pins on Pinterest about perfect moms with their perfectly organized houses, and I dream that I could be like that…while I sit at the table staring at my laptop with a sink full of dishes and two baskets of laundry that need to get put away. (Yes, that IS what my today looks like)

    Thanks for your honesty!

    • Melissa Mowry July 2, 2015 at 7:20 pm #

      Thank you so much Shana. It was hard to write and admit those things to the world because they were kind of my secret shame for a long time, but it’s so refreshing to hear things like this and know it’s all just part of being a mother. Thanks so much for reading <3

  19. Angela September 17, 2015 at 8:58 am #

    Thank You!

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